Chad's Utopia . Com - Nerf Ball Golf - The hilarious stories of Rob Kestler as told by Chad Wagner and Garth Thompson

Nerf Ball Golf
by: Chad Wagner
Posted on: Monday, June 10th 2002 7:56 PM
Written: Wednesday, September 26th 2001

{Fade into Rob Kestler, Kent Anthason, and NUKE all sitting in a mellow little pasture in the middle of Timbuktu...}

Rob Kestler "Moodoodle."

Kent "I still don't understand what this guy is saying."

NUKE "BOOM!"

Kent "Wow."

{A midget Evan Levine walks onto the scene. A smaller midget is rolling a red carpet out in front of him. The midget Evan sets down his scepter and crown and addresses the masses...}

Midget Evan "A hem! The masterful Evan Levine is in your presence."

Kestler "Oh....you're still here."

Kent "MY GOD! THAT'S THE FIRST TIME YOU HAVE SAID A WORD OTHER THAN 'DERP,' MOODOODLE,' OR "PLANDEUX' since I got here."

{Rob Kestler crushes a small paper cup in his hand...}

Kestler "PLANDEUX!"

Midger Evan "AHEM! Greatness is in your presence. Now, bow down and give me homosexual oral sex!"

Kestler, Kent, and NUKE "Ewwwwwwwwwwwwwww."

Midget Evan "Fine, then WORSHIP ME AND MY GREATNESS! MUAHAHAHAHAHA!"

{Scene zooms into Kent Anthason's head. His brain cells are observing Evan Levine as they all put on ceremonial white robes...}

Head of the brain cells "Listen here. The ceremonial comet with the creature that is going to save us from this shell of a body is finally here!"

{Head brain cell points at Midget Evan Levine's head...}

Head of the Brain Cells "Believe it or not, this barren, lifeless comet shall bring us to salvation! Now, everyone grab your kool-aid and get into the star formation..."

{Zoom out to the normal scene. Kent is twitching as his brain is slowly deteriorating. In walks another religious fanatic who talks to Rob...}

Religious guy "Mooism Arching."

Rob Kestler "Mooism arching...What the hecky poo is that?

Religious guy "It's my new religion."

Rob Kestler "Wowness."

Religious Guy "I know."

Religious Guy "Wanna be a mooian?"

Rob Kestler "SURE!"

Religious Guy "GREAT! In order to join, you must make a small donation for the services we will provide."

Rob Kestler "I'll donate urine and semen."

Religious Guy "Hmmmm, we need things with monitary value. Do they have monitary value?"

Rob Kestler "....Yes."

Religious Guy "How much? At least one you can bring to a bank."

Rob Kestler "I dunno, bring it to the bank."

Religious Guy "Hmmm, i need a lot of semen."

Rob Kestler "Dude, if I had a dollar for every time I heard that today I would have $17."

Religious Guy "That's a lot of dollars."

Rob Kestler "That's a lot of semen."

Religious Guy "Touche."

Rob Kestler "Of course."

{Suddenly Karla appears and Religious Guy goes outside with her. It's a very weird situation...|

Rob Kestler "DAMN YOU!"

{Fade to monotony.}