The Last Eskimo meets Lars Ulrich! by: Chad Wagner Posted on: Friday, June 21st 2002 4:00 PM Written: Monday, January 29th 2001 {Scene fades into the Last Eskimo standing in the Metallica house where every member of Metallica lives...} The Last Eskimo "What the hell am I doing here in the sactuary of the white man?" James Hetfield (Ignoring the Last Eskimo) "Man it's great to be absolutely rich for playing music and to be idolized by millions of people." The Last Eskimo "Land thief! Give it back!" {Everyone continues to completely ignore The Last Eskimo...} Kirk Hammett "I'm going to go in the other room and practice being Zen but also being rich." James Hetfield "Cool." The Last Eskimo "What's going on here! I've never seen so many rich non-Eskimos doing so little!" {Lars Ulrich walks out of the bathroom...} Lars Ulrich "Mother fucking who used up all of the motherfucking toilet paper?" Jason Newsted "I did, sorry." {Lars points to the door....} Lars Ulrich "Mother fucking out!" Jason Newsted "Huh?" Lars Ulrich "You mother fucking heard me! Mother fucking out." Jason Newsted "Napster." Lars Ulrich "Mother fucker! You're a mother fucking dead mother fucker now!" {Lars chases after Jason with his stolen MP3 player. Jason runs out of the house screaming like a girl...} Lars Ulrich "Mother fucking better!" James Hetfield "Do we have to find a new bass player now?" Lars Ulrich "Mother fucking yeah." James Hetfield "Aight." {They then sit there rich. The Last Eskimo is getting frustrated.....} The Last Eskimo "Pay attention to me damn it! ME ME ME ME ME!!!!" {No one pays attention to him. Fade.}