Rejected IWO Character: Baby Vagrond by: Garth Thompson Posted on: Wednesday, June 26th 2002 10:46 PM Written: Sunday, May 19th 2002 Wrestler Name:Baby Vagrond Height:9 inches Weight:7 lbs. Background/Personality:"Baby Vagrond" is not actually the son of noted philanthropist Vagrond the drunken giant space lizard, but rather a shameless gimmick ripping him off. Baby Vagrond is an iguana dressed up in what would be a cute little outfit if he were a cat or a dog, but he's an iguana so it's really more creepy than cute. Every match he takes part in involves a few shots of a real iguana but is mostly his opponent wrestling with a toy stuffed one. Your Name:Ross Keebler E-mail Address:rosskeebler@yahoo.co.kr {Scene opens to the middle of the Como zoo in Minnesota where Baby Vagrond the iguana is sitting, wearing a little sailor outfit. His manager, Bruce the austrailian zookeeper is sitting next to him.} Bruce "Gosh Baby Vagrond! I can't believe that you want to be a wrestler! Isn't that exciting?" {Baby Vagrond just sits there and stares blankly.} Bruce "What's that you say? No, you can't mean that!" Baby Vagrond "" Bruce "You say you're going to bring an unparalleled reign of terror to the IWO? You say that you're going to defeat everyone and hold every single belt and hate all the fans! No, you can't do that!" Baby Vagrond "" Bruce "You're evil! You'll never get away with that!" Baby Vagrond "" Bruce "What's that you say now? You're going to prove your greatness by laying out former IWO champion Rob Kestler?" Baby Vagrond "" Bruce "What has he ever done to you?" Baby Vagrond "" Bruce "I'm sure he didn't mean it that way! You can't take everything so personally!" {Cut to a shot of Baby Vagrond very slowly crawling down the side of an interstate highway while 'Turkey in the Straw' plays. Baby Vagrond arrives at Cassie's parents' ranch where she and Kestler are.} Bruce "Watch out former IWO Champion Rob Kestler!" Kestler "Derp." {First the real iguana Baby Vagrond is shown walking very slowly up to Kestler, then Kestler is shown as a stuffed toy iguana is thrown at his neck. Kestler grabs it and pushes it against his next and falls to the floor. Finally Kestler is shown laying on the floor pretending to be dead, which to Kestler is having his arms and legs curled up above him like a bug. The real iguana is sitting on top of Kestler with that dumb look on its face that only an animal without higher thought processes, such as Evan Levine, can have.} Kestler :-P Bruce "YOU BASTARD! YOU BEAT HIM DOWN FOR NO REASON!" Baby Vagrond "" Cassie "How cute! He's in a little sailor outfit!" {Cassie picks up the iguana and pets it.} Bruce "NO!!! Not only did you lay out Kestler, but you also stole his girlfriend! You're too evil! I'll have no part in this!" {The iguana is then shown just sitting on a chair, motionless. It is slowly zoomed in on as Bruce's voice is heard.} Bruce "What are you doing...no, get back...you can't do this to me, I'm your manager...no, NO!!!!" {Fade as Shot in the Dark by Ozzy Osbourne plays.}