Enter...The Last Eskimo by: Chad Wagner Posted on: Wednesday, June 26th 2002 11:30 PM Written: Monday, January 22nd 2001 Name: The Last Eskimo Home Town: Eskimo, Alaska Height: 4' 7" Weight: 125 lbs Entrance Music: "My Race Was Eliminated By The Selfishness of the White Man" by Joe Blues and his African Band Finishing move: Harpoon to the stomach Description of finisher: It's a harpoon thrown into the opponents stomach Background: The Last Eskimo is the last Eskimo alive. He is now fighting for the honor of his people. Oh, and he wants to get some so that he can further his racial lineage. Manager: Joe the Emperor Penguin Managers sex: Male Will Manager interfere: yes manager's background: He's a giant emperor penguin who befriended The Last Eskimo in childhood. Sample RP: {Scene fades into The Last Eskimo wearing a parka, huge pink fuzzy mittens, polyester green snow pants and huge boots. He is standing in the middle of a freeway in California. A car buzzes by The Last Eskimo...} TLE "Damn you white man! First you take away my land and then when I try to take it back you try to hit me with your iron horse! I would spit on you but my saliva would freeze instantly in this arctic weather!" {The Last Eskimo sees white people enjoying themselves on "his land." A single tear rolls down his cheek...} TLE "Something must be done!" {The Last Eskimo goes to a newspaper...} TLE "Hello white man." man "Yes, how can I help you." TLE "I would like to put out a personal ad. It shall read, 'Due to the racial genocide put forth by the white man in my homeland I need to seek partner ship. SLEM, non-smoker, likes long walks on the frozen tundra, fish, and doesn't like the white man. Seeks female for fun and procreation.'" man "That seems long for a personal ad." TLE "Just do it white man! You owe me and my species!" Man "Whatever. I'll give it to our spell checker." {Man hands the personal ad to a penguin dressed like Evan Levine who can talk...} Evan Penguin "Watt em eye subpost 2 due wit dis?" Man "Check it for spelling errors." Evan Penguin "Phuc U!" TLE "Now I must go and carry on my good mission!" {The Last Eskimo leaves. Rob Kestler walks by...} Kestler "Derp." {Fade.}