Eskijigger by: Garth Thompson Posted on: Monday, August 5th 2002 6:08 PM Written: Monday, August 5th 2002 {Open to the Rob Kestler Midget (NOT played by Vern Troyer thank you very much) standing next to a Barbie Official Adult Move store complete with 1/8th inch size VHS tapes. RKM is gesturing towards it as if to show some connection between himself and the Regular Full-sized Kestler, but doesn't realize that RFK is nowhere near coherent enough to stock his store with VHS. The Last Eskimo walks in and hands a 3x5 index card to RKM.} RKM {Reading card} "Eskijigger?" {Suddenly two government agents run in and grab RKM, dragging him away.} RKM "NO!!!!!" {Fade to Psycho Jay Midget and RKM sitting in front of a television set. On the television set is a music video displaying The Last Eskimo rapping oddly.} PJM "Grrrr. I'm a racist, I hate races, grrr." RKM "Derp. I'm silly, me want titles, give me titles. Oh wait, I forgot, I don't care about titles, only selling my book!" {RKM pulls a 3-page pamphlet out from his trousers entitled "Look Who Dropped Their Hot Pants".} PJM "Why are we watching TLE rap anyway? Does every racial group have to have some sort of annoying music style or something?" RKM "You know what I like? Stupid lizard things!" {RKM pulls a Very Happy Salamander out of his trousers.} PJM "And what is that word he keeps using?" VHS "Vhich verd, psycho gvay?" PJM "Eskijigger." {RKM points an accusing finger at PJM.} RKM "NOT SILLY!" PJM "What's so wrong with the word Eskijigger?" {TLE walks in.} TLE "That is OUR word white man. To the Eskimo people it is as big an insult as the word nigger is to african people." PJM "A-HA! I heard that, you just said the n-word so you're in as much trouble as I am!" TLE "Wrong, white man! As the sole surviving member of my race I am the ULTIMATE minority and as such can use every racial slur without fear of reprimand. Watch..." {An asian man walks in.} TLE "Charlie, jap, chink!" {TAM shakes TLE's hand and leaves. An eastern european man enters.} TLE "Wop, dago, jew!" {TEEM gives TLE a high five and leaves. Ollie North enters.} TLE "Whitey, cracker, honkey!" {ON has a good laugh and sells TLE some minor nuclear devices.} VHS "Wow" ON "Ohmigod! Durty clone things!" RKM "But I clean myself like a cat every day." ON "No, you are durty because you were created in some way other than what God intended." RKM "How did God intend for us to reproduce anyway?" PJM "I don't know but I'll bet if go watch monkeys it'll give us a good idea." {PJM and RKM leave to go watch monkeys doing "it" at a local zoo. Fade to ON selling TLE codes to US security systems.} Multiple acronyms (or MA's) were used in this RP (or inteRview of a wrestling Person). Here they are for your reference: VHS Vertical Helix Scan RKM Ramakrishna Mission RFK Ride For Kids PJM Puerto Jimenez, Costa Rica VHS Volks-Hoch-Schule NOT Not Only That JEW Jimmy Eat World TAM Task Authorization Memorandum TEEM Two-phase Extended Evaluation in Microgravity ON Occultation Newsletter MA Maleic Anhydride IHGIMP I have god in my pants MOO Multiplayer Online Object DERP Not an acronym but Spanish; "de RP"