Nothing part 5 by: Chad Wagner Posted on: Tuesday, August 13th 2002 10:56 PM Written: Monday, January 15th 2001 {Rob Kestler is in his inescapable cell writing about things that he would want from the WWF. You know why? Because it's more worth his attention than the league he wrestle's in...} Rob Kestler (writing) "What to write about. Something interesting? No, that's over done. Something of social value? No, that's boring. Something boring? No, that's already mentioned. Something of no value to anything at all and is basically just random thoughts thrown together? HECK YES! So here it goes! Does everyone know who I miss. The Giant Silva. He was a skill machine that would quit who was electric on the mic to say the least. He was DEFINITELY screwed over by the McMahon back stage politics of the WWF. I mean, come on, he was like twelve feet tall. And we all know that big=good, so we can't even argue it. And sure, he couldn't speak "english" purse but come on! A lot of the WWF audience understands his native language of Botswanavision. And trust me, when he speaks his native language you can't even think about moving because it's just that poetic and awesome in nature. McMahon and the main eventers were just afraid of his skills and that he would one day become BIGGER than the WWF. Literally bigger. That the pituitary condition would continue to make him grow until he towered over the WWF main offices. It's at that point that he would grab a woman and carry her up the side of the Empire State building. Sometimes I just wish the WWF would allow these future stars to take the obvious path like that. I also want to have Golga back. I mean, carrying around a Cartman doll? GOLD! This was when Russo was on his game hardcore. I can see it now... Russo "Alright Tenta. You were semi-well known back in the day. You had your own merchandise and even appeared in video games." Tenta "That I did! I love to latch onto the past!" Russo "To bad I don't agree with you. I'm going to dress you up in clothes from the dumpster and you're going to wear this god awful mask and we'll say that you're horribly ugly which isn't far from the truth." Tenta "Why are you always so mean to me?" Russo "QUIET TOOL! Alright, now this angle is gold. You're going to be like half retarded or something and like not talk. You'll just carry around this Eric Cartman doll." Tenta "What? This sounds bad." Russo "Trust me! The fans will eat it up. They really, REALLY like South Park. And we're going to have to hang out with a group of other people who are all not well liked at all and together you'll become fan favorites!" Tenta "Are you sure about this?" Russo "Have I ever gone wrong before?" And so on and so forth. I also want Kurgan back! IN FACT, bring back all of the oddities! I'm sure Sable could bury the hatchet for such an occasion! Cyrus would even come back from ECW and manage them! It would be great! But not the Cyrus now, I want the Jackal and I want the one who lead the military force that included Kurgan. Oh, this is making me feel all fuzzy inside. It's so great that it really can't be ignored! Everyone who reads this mail the WWF and ask....nay, beg....nay, DEMAND that they bring back this angle! I mean, sure, the Jackal my have been in the house show match in which Kurt Angle was injured therefore delaying his entrance into the WWF but I'm sure that's just in the silly past. Today begins the "Oddities NOW!" campaign! Join me and we shall win!" {Rob Kestler sits back with a satisfied smile on his face before remembering that he doesn't have anywhere to send it since he's in space....BUT WAIT! He has an IWO camera crew in with him for some reason so hopefully Channel Xers will spread the word! FADE! NOW! FADE DAMNIT FADE!} {fade}