Somebody by: Garth Thompson Posted on: Saturday, January 28th 2006 8:42 AM Written: Thursday, January 26th 2006 Finally...the most popular character ever is brought back... {Open to Butt Thrilligan and his life-partner "Brett Boy Howdy"'s San Francisco apartment, decorated with Barbra Streisand posters, kitsch and anything else stereotypical. Butt Thrilligan is standing in one of those steambath machines from old cartoons, obscured from the neck down.} Brett "Ready for the big day Butt?" Thrilligan "What big day?" Brett "Why our marriage of course thillykins! What a forgetful freddy you've been lately!" Thrilligan "No you're being thillykins, thillykins, we can't get married, we're two men remember and George W. Buth doesn't like it!" Brett "What do we care about the prethident? He has no jurithdiction in Than Franthithco." Thrilligan "Gathp! Cry! Thob! How can you not know I'm a log-cabin Republican?" Brett "You're a Pinkin' Lincoln?!?" {Thrilligan steps out of the steambath revealing that he's wearing a "Team Awesomely Awesome" uniform just like the one Kestler wore, only ridiculously tight with an open v-chest.} Thrilligan "Yes ever thince I was one of the Gaybe Baby Abies." Brett "But how can you not want to commit to our love?" Thrilligan "Brett, I may like to have sex with men, but I'm still a man so I fear all forms of commitment. George W. Bush doesn't care how much steamy anal sex we participate in, just as long we don't get married he's cool with it. It's like a license to be promiscuous!" Brett "How could you!" {Brett runs out of the room sobbing.} Thrilligan "Hey...that means...I'm thingle again BAY-BEE!" {Austin Powers music starts playing until Thrilligan realizes that nobody remembers any of those movies except for the first one, so he stops dancing and jumps out the window and starts flying around above the city. He can do this because he's a superhero, remember?} Thrilligan "I'm gonna have to pick up a lot of men to thatithfy my new thuper-powered dethirth. Fortunately thinth George W. Buth thowed that it's a choith and not inherent, many more men can now chooth to be gay even if they have no genetic predithposition! Thanks Mr. Prethident!" {A giant ghostly image of George W. Bush appears.} W Image "Heh heh, you're welcome! Heh, just like those clear-eye guys on that TV show." {W winks and fades. Fade to a kid who used to be in the IWO having a massive homophobia attack.}