The Saga of the Three Kings - Episode 4 by: Garth Thompson Posted on: Wednesday, April 23rd 2008 5:32 PM Written: Wednesday, April 23rd 2008 {Cut to Rob Kestler making his way to 51629 Steverson Drive after circling the block 18 times looking for 65192 Steverson Drive. Kestler walks slowly up to the doorway and knocks lightly on it in an incredibly passive and timid way. As Kestler is 6'8" this passive knocking still is loud enough to be heard inside. The door is opened by a woman wearing only an apron, a woman who would be quite attractive if she didn't have 6 arms, a snake's tail instead of legs, and was constantly uttering a stream of obscenities.} Kestler "I don't believe we've met. Mrs. Cassia is it?" {Kestler holds out his hand to shake but the woman-thing just continues to utter a stream of obscenities from the 666th layer of the abyss. Chad Cassia, long retired and now graying slightly appears from behind the woman-thing and shakes Kestler's extended hand.} Cassia "Rob! Great to see you! I see you've met my wife Marilith." Kestler "Yes, she's quite exotic!" {Cassia hugs Marilith by the waist with one arm as she continues to utter obscenities and flail. He buckles over somewhat from her punches in his kidney.} Cassia "Yeah, she's a type V demon. But you know what they say - you can't choose who you fall in love with. I actually met her when I was hired by Lord British to slay her, it's a funny story...come in, come in!" {Cassia gestures to Kestler to come in. Scene change to Cassia's living room where he and Kestler are sitting on a couch. Marilith is in the kitchen presumably preparing food very violently with kitchen utensils in all 6 hands.} Cassia "...and so we had to get a civil union since, even though she's human-OID, she's TECHNICALLY not human." Kestler "Derp." Cassia "Well, enough about us, how about you, Rob? What've you been up to since the IWO collapsed under its own self created dung heap?" Kestler "Sadly not many silly things at all. I've been sooooooo bored." Cassia (Scratching his chin) "Hmmm, not silly you say. That is quite the predicament to which to find oneself adapting." {Marilith comes out, still screaming blasphemies, and holding a tray of the appetizer she prepared which appears to be a pile of goldfish crackers with a still beating human heart placed on top.} Kestler "Ooooo! That look nummy! My girlfriend Cassie makes that all the time!" Cassia "Well, in the post-wrestling world, Rob, I've found some happiness with my wife. And we plan to start a family too, just as soon as I figure out the mechanics of it." {Cassia points to Marilith's tail.} Cassia (whispering to Rob) "No legs." (normal) "So you could say the joys of boring everyday life have kept me occupied and happy." {Marilith flings one of the meat cleavers she was holding randomly and it crashes through a window. Cassia laughs heartily at this.} Kestler "So...you're saying...the meaning of life is...boring everyday life?" Cassia "Huh? Oh, yeah, pretty much." Kestler "Well, then once again I have a quest. As I once discovered the Scott Stone species, and as I once defeated the light demon, now I will discover the MEANING OF BORING EVERYDAY LIFE!!!!" Cassia "What meaning? It's just boring, everyday life." Kestler "No one shall stay me in my quest." (In a British accent) "FOR BRITANNIA!!!" {As Kestler screams this he runs and leaps vailantly out of the window that Marilith had shattered. At Kestler's battle cry Marilith cringes slightly and Cassia comforts her.} Cassia "Don't worry honey, he doesn't work for that bad man." (yelling out the window) "Best of luck, Rob! And stop by whenever!" {Cut to video of Kestler running around in circles in a cul-de-sac as heroic music plays. Zoom out to reveal shadowy figures with elaborate hair watching him. Fade.}