IGN by: Chad Wagner Posted on: Friday, June 7th 2002 12:41 AM Written: Monday, October 2nd 2000 {Scene fades into the corporate offices of IGN in their trailer next to lake Boobycock in lower Nigeria. The leader of the3 cult stands up...} Leader "Men, it has been brought to my attention that these men..." {Shows a picture of Psycho Jay and Rob Kestler dancing in tu-tus last Halloween...} Leader "have been responsible for lewd and indecent rumors being posted on an intermachine culture-web page." Underling #1 "Claiming that they be gettin' with someone's momma?" Leader "No, worse." Underling #2 "Calling each other poo heads?" Leader "Yes, but it's worse than that." Underling #1 "No way!" Leader "Way." Underling #2 "So, what is it that they've mention on the page that is worse than poo? Did they mention Evan Levine again?" Leader "Worse." {Underling #1 dies of shock induced stroke....} Leader "I'm sorry to say this but these men whose names aren't important enough to mention have mentioned homosexuals on the intermachine culture-web." Underling #2 "What's wrong with that?" Leader "The fact that I'm not a homosexual and as such hate them is what's wrong with it! Making references to homosexuals is just plain wrong!" Underling #2 "But sure, this is IGN. You remember what IGN stands for right?" Leader "Of course I do! I run the damn company! It stands for the International Gay Network!" Underling #2 "Then why do you hate homosexuals?" Leader "You are nothing but a cocksucking sympathizer! I thought I had you all sent to death camps! Guards! TAKE HIM AWAY!" {Guards "escort" out underling #2...} Leader "Now I must call and complain to Jamie Kosoy who is my only other intellectual equal on this planet. I can take references to people receiving oral sex and Hitler but homosexuality is just wrong!" {Fades out as he calls up Kosoy so that they can emotionally cuddle.}