Chad's Utopia . Com - Infamous phone call - The hilarious stories of Rob Kestler as told by Chad Wagner and Garth Thompson

Infamous phone call
by: Chad Wagner
Posted on: Friday, June 7th 2002 12:42 AM
Written: Saturday, October 7th 2000

THE FOLLOWING, MUCH LIKE COPS, IS A DRAMATIC INTERPRETATION OF REAL EVENTS.

{Rob Kestler is sitting in his locker room where him and Cassie are
living...}

Cassie "Robby poo! When are we going to go and see your silly matured
movie shop?"

Kestler "Very soon."

Cassie "Yippee!"

{Schitzo Tod who was hiding outside the door screams in joy and runs off to
tell AWS Man (Also known as Bill). Suddenly Rob Kestler psychic phone
rings. Cassie answers the phone...}

Cassie "This is the silly room of sillyoscity of Cassie and Rob, Cassie
talking."

Voice "Rob please."

Cassie "Ooooo! You said please!"

{Cassie hands the phone to Rob...}

Cassie "The phone is for you."

Kestler "Oooooo! Who is it."

Cassie "It kinda sounds like Donnie Daze."

Kestler "Yippee! He's super happy rainbow cool!"

{Kestler puts the phone to his ear...}

Kestler "Yoodles."

Supposive Daze "What the hell is with you anyway?"

Kestler :-(

Supposive Daze "I don't mention you one bit, and you've gotta be a smart
ass and come out with a stupid parody of me."

Kestler :-(

Supposive Daze "I know you're better than me."

Kestler :-)

Supposive Daze "But that doesn't mean that you have to be an ass hole about
it."

Kestler :-(

{The person who sounded like Donnie Daze hangs up as Rob makes a sad puppy
face.}

Cassie "What did he say?"

Kestler "He was just being a meany poo head."

Cassie "What are you going to do?"

Kestler "I don't know. Just tell Jay and Tod that he's a poo head."

{Kestler picks up the phone and speed dials Jay...}

Jay "Who is this?"

Kestler "Rob."

Jay "I beat you for the title and now I have it and it's shiny."

Kestler "I know but there is more pressing matters now."

Jay "Really? What?"

Kestler "Donnie Daze is a poo head. He was being mean to me."

Jay "Man, what a pile of turd."

Kestler "Cool, now I have to call Tod."

Jay "Cool, now I have to go and get head from porn stars. Say hello to the
four toothed farm goblin for me."

{Jay hangs up...}

Cassie "What did Jay say?"

Kestler "I think he said hello."

Cassie "Oooo. Jay can be nice and silly sometimes after all!"

{Rob calls Schitzo Tod...}

Tod "Moo!"

Kestler "Moo!"

Tod "What's happening?"

Kestler "Donnie Daze called me an asshole for something I didn't do."

Tod "What a meany head!"

Kestler "I know!"

Tod "We should cheese his house."

Kestler "Cheese his house?"

Tod "It's like egging a house except instead of throwing eggs, you throw
cheese."

Kestler "Cool."

Tod "We face each other on Friday."

Kestler "We're going to win."

Tod "Ok. But I call dibsies on throwing the first cheese."

Kestler "Damn you drive a hard bargain."

Tod "Moo."

Kestler "Moo."

{Kestler hangs up the phone and in walks the hitler cloned midget of Jamie
Kosoy...}

Kosoycules "I would just like to inform Donnie Daze that Psycho Jay and
people associated with him have always made fun of people who aren't them so
don't feel special that the IWO showed a person looking like you trying to
kill himself. Thank you."

{Scene fades out to Seth Weiland at a computer typing up the recipe to the
special kool-aid and sending it to Donnie Daze.}